Dogs are like the best thing ever. I could just spend eternity squishing their little chubby faces, sniffing their tiny, muddy paws and stinky breaths, listening to the annoying dog barking, gnarling and squeaking. And also the talks. Men, I love the talks. Always listening, looking at you with their eyes and then taking a nap in the middle of a conversation. I mean, who cannot love that?
The Many Meanings of Dog Barking
A bark is not just a noise. That’s the newest Kanye West album. It’s your dog way of telling you something. It’s their way of asking for your attention, expressing anger, distress or informing you that the wind is blowing outside, so you need to immediately evacuate at 3 am, go with all your things packed at the front door and just casually listen to the wind blowing or the neighbor’s cat passing down the street. Count your blessings.
Here’s a little guidebook into the mysterious ways the dog barking works:
1. Decoding the pitches. Growling, or a low pitched sound, warns you about a possible threat, aggressiveness or angry behavior. It’s your dog’s way of saying “Stay the hell away from me.” Barking at high pitch sounds usually means the opposite, or in doggy’s way “You can pet me now human. Allowed you are.”
2. The duration of the bark. If you can figure out what Trump’s saying, then you can also estimate the duration of your dog’s barking. It’s a more fruitful job, believe so. In general, the longer the bark, the more probable is that the dog is aware that something’s about to happen. The shorter the growl, the more your dog is not backing down. If your dog barks in shorter bursts that means that it is anxious and fearful about something. Like a hedgehog in your backyard. Please call the police before checking that one!
3. The frequency. Sounds which are repeated often, at a fast rate, usually can be interpret as a sign of euphoria and urgency. For example, if you tell your dog: “Who wants to go for a walk?”, it’ll begin barking like a sniper, jumping up and down with excitement.
I’d also like to advise you on all the ways you can make your dog stop barking. I will surely need some of these tips, especially when someone is approaching my front door and my little pup starts acting like a hyena. Dear postman, please send me the shrink’s bill!
Ways to Stop Excessive Dog Barking!
1. Remove the motivation. Dogs do bark a lot at passersby. So whenever it sees a cat, or a human passing by your window, you need to close the curtains down.
2. Ignore the noise. The sneaky little fellas know that whenever they bark we respond to it immediately, ‘cause you know, it’s a annoying. I know you’ve heard this a million times, but you need to stop paying attention. Get earplugs if you will, but do not, I repeat, do not react! You need to let them know who wears the pants in the house!
3. Discover the trigger. Yup, figure out what makes them bark and gradually expose them to it. Over time, it will shut the hell up!
4. Have a “quiet command”. I know it sounds easier said than done, but if Kanye figured out a way to top the lists, you can learn how to quiet your dog. Nothing is impossible, especially if it is as annoying as dog barking. Whenever it starts barking, you go and tell that furry dude to be quiet. Just shout “Quiet!” When it stops put a treat up his drooling big barking mouth. Repeated enough, it will do the trick.
Off I go now! You are welcome.